Jackson has officially transitioned to a big boy room with a big boy bed! It took only a little while for this to go smoothly for him, thank goodness. When Curt and I first began discussing the idea (before Carter was born) of moving Jackson into the bedroom next door and keeping his old room set up for the baby, I was admittedly horrified at the thought of having my (big) baby move out of his crib and into a bed. This was a step towards growing up that I was just not ready for. I had lots of excuses and tried to pass it off as Jackson's not being ready when in reality, it was me. But now that we've done it I can look back and admit that Curt was right, it was a good idea and something we really needed to do.
I was all worried about Jackson because we hadn't done this before the baby came home, so I thought it would be too much for him to get used to in too short a time, but he did really well. His getting used to Carter pretty quickly probably helped. We began by moving most of his toys into his new room and playing in there a lot so he could get used to it. The next step was taking naps in the "big boy bed," as we call it, which Daddy helped him get used to by laying with him the first couple times until he fell asleep. When Daddy stopped doing that, Jackson just stayed awake in there, playing and reading books, until either he was tired enough to lay down and go to sleep on his own or until I went in there to lay him down and tell him it was night-night time, at which point he'd stay in bed and nap well. Since we already had a mattress, we didn't buy anything else, so the bed is just on the floor, which alleviates my worries about him falling out of bed and waking up or being injured.
Once napping was easy for him, we took the plunge and tried it out at night. The first time was a disaster. Surprisingly, I did not break down and cry, but I was close. He cried himself hoarse, standing by the door and knocking, calling for Mommy and Daddy. We were heartbroken, of course, and we kept debating whether to go in, whose turn it would be if we did, and what we would do once inside. We were both ready for bed ourselves, and Carter was asleep, so that was another stressor: we knew that he'd have been sleeping comfortably in his crib in mere minutes had we not decided to try the bed that night, and we could have been doing the same. Instead, we went in and out of his room, trying to console him and get him to stay in bed, Daddy even bringing him out for drinks of water, for well over an hour and a half, before we finally gave in and put him back in his crib for the night. We decided that minute that we would have to wait until we had almost a good week of being home at night with no company over before we tried this again. The last thing we wanted was for him to wake the whole house up while family was visiting that weekend.
We decided to make this week the week so he would have enough time to get used to his new room before Carter moves into the baby room in another week or two. We had established the ground rules and knew who would do what: Jackson would be given ample warnings about sleeping in the big boy bed; we'd let him cry for half an hour before returning to put him down without talking to him; Curt would get up to do this once I'd gone to bed since I'm getting up frequently to nurse. On Monday night, bedtime began much the same way as it had on that disastrous night the week before, except the crying was maybe a bit less intense. We had agreed to intervene after half an hour, but we didn't feel he needed it as he had had some quiet spells in that time, and I could tell that he had attempted to go back to bed a couple times during that half hour. So we left him alone in his room, hoping the crying, knocking, and calling out for us or for water would soon end. After only about an hour total, he finally fell asleep, exhausted, as we guiltily discussed our success at resisting the urge to go in there and save him from the unknown. Of course he woke up a few times that night, repeating the whole crying-knocking-calling-out routine, but Curt was able to get him back into bed quietly and quickly. It helped that Jackson now had all the necessary items in bed with him or near him: his music machine, which he would turn on to soothe himself back to sleep when he'd wake in the night in his crib, two of his blankies, a teddy bear, his glow worm, and a cup of water.
Last night, night two: I was on my own since Curt worked the evening shift and was on-call overnight, so he stayed at the hospital. When I gave Jackson his first warning that bedtime in his big-boy bed was near, he cutely said, "Okay, Mommy." He didn't hesitate when it was finally bedtime, and he snuggled right into his pillow and kissed me goodnight. I walked out of the room marveling at how easy that had been on what was only the second true night of this new experience for all of us. After about ten minutes of silence, though, he was up and crying at the door. I reminded myself that I had to fight my motherly instincts and stay out of his room. He whimpered for maybe 20 minutes, walking back and forth from bed to door, before finally staying in bed. He was up again half an hour later, so I went in and quietly put him back down. Throughout the night, he did not get out of bed once, just turned on his music machine or played music on his glow worm when he woke up, and he stayed quiet and went back to sleep on his own. We are really lucky to have such an easy-going boy, because I know this could have been a lot harder and was totally expecting it to take longer, but in just two nights, SUCCESS!!!
Although I struggled with the decision to move Jackson into a big-boy room and bed at first and we had an unpleasant couple nights, this transition was probably the first of many where we will have to do something difficult as parents for the benefit of our children. It was really hard to sit there and listen to him crying out for us, even though we knew that denying him was helping him in the long run. This is just another step on the road of growing up, a road I sometimes wish my kids didn't have to take, but one that I am proud to see them walk down nonetheless.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
A Weekend With the Wojos
This past weekend was our belated Christmas celebration with Curt's side. Every year for the past six years we've gotten together on a weekend in January rather than packing in our family time during the actual holiday season. We see each other then, too, if possible, when there are bigger family gatherings with his grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, but we've come to appreciate the time that just the immediate family is together at Mom & Dad's, especially now that there are kids involved. What we've done in the past is gone out for dinner, followed by a night of gifts and games. Each child took his/her turn each year choosing the restaurant and location. Last year there were only two babies, so family friends came over to watch them while we went out. This year, though, we decided to stay in and host it at our house, which ended up being much easier for Curt and I than packing up our entire house to spend an overnight now that we have two kids. And since there are four kids total, three of whom wouldn't be comfortable with an unfamiliar babysitter at their ages, they were part of the festivities as well.
Maddy and Jackson checking out their new presents
The white elephant exchange. I should have taken a full-length picture so you could see how awesome this sweater truly is. Curt's is a hand-made t-shirt from his sister Erin (she's in the above photo).Spending times like this together reminds me how lucky we both are to have such great families. There is so much love and laughter shared among us all, and I am always so touched when I see how much love our parents have for our children. Watching the kids spend time with their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins as they grow up has already given me such a deep sense of pride and joy, which I'm sure will only continue to grow as the years pass by... all too quickly.
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